At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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