So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
