apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
