If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
