am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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