kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
These tits shall not be calmed
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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