actually, I'm a sock model
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
