Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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