the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
