so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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