You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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