quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
