the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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