So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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