so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Randomize
