That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
