Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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