I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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