I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
