Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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