Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
