We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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