She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
