I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
