Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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