I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
