a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
There was a lot of him and a little penis
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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