When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
