you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
