So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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