You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
