Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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