it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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