he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Every concussion has its silver lining
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
They took my balls.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
