My nipple is on Facebook.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
