420 ftw
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
