Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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