Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize