my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
