Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize