Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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