Your face is a jimmy john
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
