He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
