Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
