Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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