just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Pooping to opera.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
