I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
