i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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