oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize