All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
