I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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