so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
