why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Randomize
