I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize