My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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