is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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