you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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