u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize