i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
