put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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