: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
