I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
