I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
