He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
