I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
