If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
