I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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