i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
